oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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