I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So. Much. Porn.
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