Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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