I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
