Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
