K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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