I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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