I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
