Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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