Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
