We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
