just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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