im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
