Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
