Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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