no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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