Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
