New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
