Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
