Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
