My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
