sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
