I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
