I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
