Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
