Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
