those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
