I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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