I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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