Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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