If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
