My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
where does the pee come out of this thing
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Boobs speak an international language.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
