GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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