On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
