You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
