How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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