I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
