she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm at about main and main street
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
