fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
