OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
