I have demons in me.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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