so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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