I cockslap morals
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
