it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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