i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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