She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
