Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
