can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
