last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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