True but thats because hes a fetus.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
